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A Mobile Is Stolen Every 12 Seconds...

  1. Q. three tampons walking down the street which one talks to you? A. none they are all stuck up twats..... (oops!)
  2. Q. How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? A. 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, and an unknown number of hares.
  3. Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women? A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
  4. Q. Why do they put a COCK on a weather vane? A. If they put a PUSSY up there the wind would blow right through it an feck up the weather report......
  5. Q. What is the difference between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken? A. By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
  6. Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
  7. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
  8. Q. What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? A. Cough, gag, choke, etc.
  9. Q. How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper? A. The tongue's still stuck on the envelope.
  10. Q. what do you call a used tampon floating in a river? A. a blood vessel.
  11. Q. what's bloody & slimy and goes "ho-ho-ho"? A. Placenta Claus.
  12. Q. Why do lawyers wear neckties? A. To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
  13. Q. What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbian's apartment? A. Potpourri.
  14. Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky? A. Erotic is using a feather... kinky is using the whole chicken!
  15. Q. What do you call an Ethiopian with a swollen toe? A. A golf club.
  16. Q. What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear? A. Ferry tales!
    Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"? A. About three inches.
  17. Q. What does a Christmas tree and priest have in common? A. Their balls are just for decoration.
  18. Q. What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? A. You can't hear an enzyme.
  19. What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A. A blow job with handle bars.
  20. Q. What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A. Hailing taxicabs.