Q. What do David Beckham and a diamond ring have in common? A. They both come in a posh box.

Q. Why are turds tapered at the end? A. So your arsehole doesn't slam shut! (Urgh!)

Q. What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? A. Ribbon Hood.

Q. What do you call a redneck who has a dog AND a cat? A. Bisexual. (hehe sorry!)

Q. Christians have the bible, Muslims have the Koran, Jewish people have the Torah, but what do Africans have? A. Jungle Book. (not meant to be racist, just funny)

Q. How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One, but the whole collective enjoys the experience!

Q: What's worse than a cardboard box? A: Paper tits!

Q: What's the difference between toilet paper and toast? A: Toast is brown on both sides... (Disgusting!)

Q. How can you spot a blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It's not hard...

Q. Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts? A. Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Q.  Why is a joke like a pussy? A.  Neither is any fun if you don't get it.

Q:  How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek... A: One. 

Q. Why do we have orgasms? A. How else would we know when to stop?

Q. What are the 3 rings of marriage? A. The Engagement ring, the Wedding ring and the Suffering!

Q. What happens when you have deja vu and amnesia at the same time? A. You have the feeling that you're forgetting the same thing over and over.

Q. What does a Rabbi do during some sermons? A. Babylon...

Q. What is an Egyptian Belly Dance? A. The Gaza Strip.

Q. What happened when the computer fell on the floor? A. It slipped a disk.

Q. Why was there a bug in the computer? A. It was looking for a byte to eat.

Q. What is the ultimate rejection? A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.