Q. What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? A. I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.

Q. What is The Clinton legacy? A. Its eight years of sex, between the Bushes…

Q. What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains a thin whitish liquid? A. A Coconut

Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Q. Why do men fart more than women? A. Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure!

Q. What food have scientists discovered that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A. Wedding Cake.

Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A. Marry it!

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a lab rat? A. There are just some things that a rat won't do.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A. A battery has a positive side!

Q. A true blond and a bleached blond are on the empire state building - how do you know which one is the true blond? A. The one throwing bread crumbs at helicopters…

Q. "Mommy, what's a lesbian?" A. "Go ask Daddy - she'll know."

Q.  What do you called a lesbian with long fingernails? A.  Single…

Q. Do you know how the word *fart* came to be? A. It is an acronym for Finely Articulated Rectal Tremor

Q. Why don't anteaters get sick? A. Because they're full of anty-bodies!

Q. Back in the old days there was a man who rides into town on Friday, leaves the town on Friday, but only stays in town for three days. How did he do it? A. He rode a horse named Friday!

Q. What goes “oooo oooo”? A. A cow with no lips…

Q.  What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A.  The pickpocket snatches your watch…

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes.